Animal testing is a terrible idea because they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. Did Noah include termites on the ark? What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away. I…
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off! Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an…
(NOTHING has to be answered. Pick and choose or come up with something altogether different.)
A small-town mayor arrives at the Pearly Gates after years of public service. St. Peter greets her, saying, “Before you settle in, we have a new policy: you get one day in Heaven and one in Hell.…
Zion National Park, located in southwestern Utah, is a showcase of geologic time and natural forces sculpted into one of the most striking landscapes on Earth. Its towering cliffs, deep canyons, and…
Speaking of Springdale residents worth getting to know, Betsy Alford and Janis Kali, both recently deceased, were interviewed in 2004. That interview transcript can be accessed here:…
There is a lovely television show where a crew of cameramen and interviewers knock on a random door and ask if they can do a show about the person who lives there. The response they get is always a…
Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves. What kind of horse do ghosts ride? A night-mare. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite. What…
When a small-town city council member brought up the idea of a new street, a dozen different people volunteered to name it after their grandparents. The plan was immediately put on hold.
O sweet spontaneous earth how often have the doting fingers of prurient philosophers pinched and poked thee ,has the naughty thumb of science prodded thy beauty how often have religions taken thee…
Slipped on a pumpkin today. It caught me off gourd. What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock o’lantern. What do you call a chubby jack o’lantern? A plump-kin. What do you call a pumpkin that can…
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely,…
When the Springdale Community Forum began, our goal was quite specific; to take over the running of Candidates Night from town staff. The staff's response to our request was extremely enthusiastic,…
They said essential oils would solve all my problems. I tried it but my car still won’t start.
A man gets to the pearly gates and is given a choice between Heaven and Hell. He decides to check out both options first. In Hell, he sees everyone sitting in chairs, drinking coffee, and chatting.…
Last issue I apologized for not giving credit to Robyn Chancey for the articles she had written the week before. This week, apologies for spelling her name incorrectly in that apology.
“The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today.” Chinese Proverb
The Springdale Community Forum is pleased to announce our moderator for the October 16, 2025 Candidates Night at the Canyon Community Center: Dr. Kevan Jacobson. Dr. Jacobson is Chair of the…
Springdale depends on visitors, yes. But its real strength lies in the people who stay when the buses stop coming — the ones who keep spirits up, and the canyon’s stories alive and ongoing — the ones…
Jack Burns: When the Land Speaks Through Paint
